Session 15 – Into Nikripest
Ms GoldenDay & Wayne the Valet Cleric – Ian
Greta the Dwarf — Gary
Bordeaux the Dwarf – Brandon
Roche the Thief – Bob
Rainbow the Warrior & Dosh the Dwarf – Gator-Todd
The characters have re-grouped following the effort to clear out the sewers that were the domain of King Cockroach. They have acquired a map of Nikripest from Lord Dimh and surface in that city to find that this legendary place is covered in smoke and is obviously the epicenter of destruction: The bodies of Radiants lay heaped in the center of town, circled by flying slith. The party avoids the sloth, encounters a surviving Radiant who flees the scene. They investigate the White Orchard, where the Pale Trees are kept but are unable to break into the garden— it can only be accessed by the key, held always by the king of Nikripest. They encounter some survivors of the Radiants’ dungeons who inform them that Blackstone is in the palace guarded by his ninja princess harem and a “cadre of the Greatest Warriors Ever Known!”
Proceeding cautiously, they venture up around the square and encounter a hell portal guarded by demons; they bargain with one to accompany them- a large lupine entity with an enormous penis. (!!??!) They venture together to the Palace and find a demonic giant Blackstone with a ninja princess harem of Sunless elf girls plus— a cadre of fearsome warriors— Billy the Gravedigger, Shiraz the mage, Aram the Warrior, Publio the thief and the mighty Lord Fitzgerald himself!!! Brought back from the dead (or limbo) to be the honor guard of the mighty Gerhard Blackstone who has ascended to demigod hood and become the lord of Nikripest since sleeping under the Pale Tree.
A long battle ensued in which the Greatest Heroes etc etc were dispatched quickly, except for crafty Publio, who fled quickly. Greta, Laszlo the henchman and Wayne were all killed but Laszlo and Wayne were found to be alive after combat, while Greta was restored with the wondrous Lozenge of Life. They found the key to the gate of the White Orchard with Blackstone’s body and made their way to the orchard.
The orchard was protected by 5 insectoid reavers who slew Laszlo, Greta and Rainbow with their fearsome buzz saw pincers. But they gained the Orchard and slept easily beneath the remaining four trees, thereby gaining their heart’s desires:
Ms Goldenday ascended into godhood as the avatar of murder, serving the Voice from the Darkness.
Bordeaux ascended to godhood as the god of invention and craft, taking the head and shoulders of his archival Ronko as the front of his god-chariot.
Dosh’s desire was for his old friend Rainbow to ascend to the heavens as a god of victory— there are now shrines to Rainbow, god of successful battle, all over the Thousand Empires.
Last, Roche wished for the healthy return of all of his deceased friends. Asked to produce a list, Roche came up with Billy the Gravedigger, Lord Fitzgerald, Shiraz, Greta the Dwarf and Silvertongue the Bard.
At this point Zymordis the Wizard appeared and was revealed to be Armand Pitzkin, who had been helping them in order to make sure that the trees were used by those who would not break reality with time paradoxes or catastrophic chaos-lust. Satisfied with the success of his scheme, he offered to transport the remaining adventurers back to Kwenlox Kwezeen if they wished. They did agree to take him up on this offer and in a flash of light, they were brought safely back to Kwenlox Kwezeen, to begin the shrine to Ms Goldenday, servant of Chaos and Death…
*Note: I totally forgot to award xp to those who survived: 13 XP + 2 luck points for completion of the adventure for Dosh, Rainbow, Roche, Greta & Wayne the Valet Cleric.