DCC RPG: Champions of Snakedeep
Silvertongue the Bard
Fat, pimply, and annoying. Just walking at a brisk pace causes him to break out in a heavy bout of wheezing and coughing.
The War Journal of Silvertongue the Bard
I was minding my own business at the Beardless Dwarf when this pushy, pale elf practically begged me to join him and his band of dubiously talented band of adventurers. Apparently, they were headed to some underground cavern and needed yours truly, to offer protection to them as well as document their travels.
I agreed, with the expectation that they would provide me something of epic proportions to write poetry and songs about.
What I got instead, was a pasty, pale, dead elf, and a bunch of terrified miscreants running from a ‘ghost’. Ghost, pfah! More like a drafty old cave full of old, worthless crap!
We journeyed to the Cluster, and from there to the drafty, cold, damp, smelly caves of the underdark. We found the mysterious ‘city’ they’d been going on, and on and on about. I was unimpressed. This ‘city’ was nothing more than a bunch of old crappy carved doors and walls.
After navigating a seemingly endless staircase, we came to a mysterious room! Mysterious indeed! Mysterious for it had a trapdoor in it! And..some kind of chimney. Now, please pay attention because this is the most interesting and dangerous thing that happened for the entire trip! A spirit of some sort came screaming down the chimney in full battle regalia! This hideous demon rushed out of it’s demonic lair and came straight for me!
Fear not gentle reader, I came through the struggle unharmed, without a scratch! As the demonic visage came towards me I girded myself and swung, not my sword, no…not that! Faced with this horrible creature I gathered my resolve and simply swung the torch I held tightly in my fist at this pale horror! The torch struck true and the ghastly apparition dissipated before our very eyes!
Having proved my valor to them, I bade them go on their way if they must. If they must continue through the dank caves before them, than so be it. I had vanquished the most deadly foe we were to find down there. I took my leave of them and awaited for their return.
And wait I did. These bufoons must have gotten lost or something wandering around in the ghosts attic. I waited, with their smelly mule and even smellier henchman- “Beets”. I might suggest he change his name to ‘farts’ for obvious reasons. Even the mule had a problem with the stench!
Eventually, they came back… carrying the dead body of the elf who had hired me. His name was…Earl…or something…I don’t remember exactly. They seemed very distressed by having been lost in the caves for so long, so I took them under my wing once again and led them back to the light.
I can only imagine what they will bother me with next.